Aku Seorang Pelacur

Oleh; A. Marpe

Juleha. Begitu orang-orang menyapaku. Aku adalah seorang gadis berumur 18 tahun. Aku mempunyai tubuh tinggi semampai, berkulit kuning langsat dan aku mempunyai tubuh yang ideal untuk ukuran gadis seumuranku. Bentuk tubuhku ini tentunya aku warisi dari ibu, bentuk payudaraku yang bulat membuat aku merasa gadis sempurna.

Aku anak pertama dari tiga orang bersaudara, kedua adikku laki-laki. Aku anak perempuan satu-satunya di kelurga kecil ini. Tidak banyak yang bisa aku harapkan dari keluargaku, bapakku seorang buruh tani yang setiap hari makan upah dari hasil mencangkul sawah atau kebun milik warga setempat. Sedangkan ibuku, tidak mempunyai pekerjaan yang pasti selain mengurus rumah tangga. Terkadang kalau musim sayur dan buah-buahan datang, ia keliling berjualan sayur dan buah-buah untuk membantu bapak mencari uang belanja.

Aku bersyukur karena bapak berhasil menyekolahkanku hingga aku memperoleh ijazah SLTA. Dari 48 siswa yang lulus, aku memperoleh nilai terbaik. Sekolahku tidak terlalu terkenal, hanya sekolah swasta yang berada di perkampungan. Guru-guru di sekolahku menyerankan agar aku melanjutkan pendidikan ke perguruan tinggi. Saran itu hanya aku balas dengan kalimat “Insya Allah”. Jujur, sebenarnya aku mempunyai ambisi yang sangat kuat untuk melanjutkan pendidikan ke perguruan tinggi. Semenjak kecil ibu selalu bilang, “Nak, nanti kamu jangan jadi seperti ibu, kamu harus lebih sukses dari ibu dan bapak,” itulah kalimat sakti yang selalu aku genggam. Aku menerjemahkan kata-kata ibu itu bahwa dengan pendidikanlah semua itu terwujud.

Tepat ketika hari penerimaan ijazah, aku langsung memberitahu kepada ibu dan bapak bahwa aku memperoleh nilai terbaik.  Aku melihat kegembiraan tergambar di wajah bapak. Ibu langsung memelukku, airmata pun jatuh membasahi pipinya yang mulai keriput. Aku membiarkan tubuhku didekapnya, aku merasakan pancaran kasih sayang benar-benar menembus ke dalam hatiku, tanpa aku sadari, airmataku pun jatuh. Ketika ibu melepaskan pelukannya, aku langsung mengutarakan keinginanku untuk melanjutkan pendidikan. Seketika raut wajah bapak langsung berubah dan ibupun diam seribu bahasa. Aku sangat memahami kebisuan mereka, langsung saja aku mengalihkan pembicaraan karna aku tidak mau membuat orangtuaku berlarut memikirkan keinginanku yang konyol ini. Aku berusaha sebisa mungkin untuk dapat mewujudkan keinginanku tanpa membuat orangtuaku merasa terbebani. Aku mencari beasiswa kesana-kemari, tapi hasilnya nihil. Lembaga yang menyediakan beasiswa mempermasalahkan status sekolahku. Apa boleh buat, aku terpaksa mengubur dalam-dalam impianku.

Seminggu setelah itu, aku bilang sama ibu bahwa aku hendak merantau ke Jakarta, karna kalau tetap di kampung aku tidak bisa memperoleh pekerjaan, dan aku tidak mau dijodohkan di usia yang masih sangat muda. Aku ke Jakarta hendak mencari pekerjaan agar bisa membantu bapak membiayai kehidupan sehari-hari dan membiayai sekolah adik-adikku. Adik-adikku selalu bilang bahwa dia ingin sekolah tinggi seperti orang-orang yang sering ia lihat dalam televisi ketika menonton di rumah temannya. Keputusanku sudah bulat, bahwa aku harus merantau ke Jakarta. Ibu memahami keinginanku. Setelah berunding dengan bapak, akhirnya mereka menyetujui keinginanku untuk merantau. Bapak langsung mengabarkan salah seorang saudaranya di Jakarta via telepon umum.  Tiga hari kemudian, aku berangkat ke Jakarta dengan menumpang bis. Tidak lupa ibu memberikanku uang untuk bekal yang ia pinjam dari tetangga. Inilah pertama kalinya aku meninggalkan keluarga dan kampung halamanku. Sebelum benar-benar angkat kaki, aku peluk ibuku, aku ciumi pipinya, dan ia pun menangis sejadi-jadinya. Begitu juga dengan bapak dan adik-adikku, aku peluk mereka secara bergantian. Suasana haru itu tidak aku biarkan berlangsung lama, akhirnya bis telah jauh membawaku jauh meninggalkan kampung halaman. Airmataku tetap berjatuhan, aku tak kuasa menahannya. Aku menikmati perjalanan dengan hati sungguh sangat berat. Terbayang-tarbayang wajah ibu, bapak, dan adik-adikku. “Merantau akan membuatmu kuat.” itulah kata-kata yang selalu mampu menguatkanku.

Setelah tiga hari dua malam dalam perjalanan, akhirnya aku menginjakkan kaki di tanah jawa. Di terminal aku sudah ditunggu oleh Tante Rosita, aku kerap menyapanya dengan Tante Roih. Tante Roih adalah saudara jauh bapak. Tante Roih membawaku ke rumahnya. Besok harinya, aku bilang sama Tante Roih bahwa aku hendak mencari pekerjaan. Tiba-tiba dia tertawa seolah-olah meremehkan dan merendahkanku. Aku berontak dengan mengatakan bahwa aku punya ijazah SLTA dengan nilai terbaik. Dia tertawa sejadi-jadinya dan berkata; “Juleha, ini Jakarta. Apa yang bisa diharapkan dari selembar ijazah SLTA mu?”. Dia mengambil sebatang rokok, membakarnya dan menghisapnya. Ketika itu aku baru tahu kalau Tante Roih seorang perokok. Aku syok melihat kejadian di depan mataku ini, jiwaku seakan berguncang, tanpa aku perintahkan lidahku langsung berucap istigfar, karna memang selama di kampung tidak pernah aku melihat wanita yang merokok. Aku lari masuk ke dalam kamar, dan menangis sejadi-jadinya.

Besok harinya, aku berjalan sendirian mencari pekerjaan bermodalkan ijazah SLTA yang telah aku bungkus rapi dalam sebuah map berwarna coklat . Aku keluar masuk toko-toko ataupun lembaga yang menerima karyawan baru. Tapi hasilnya nihil, tidak ada dari mereka yang menyentuh ijazahku, jangankan mneyentuh melirik pun tidak. Ini sudah berlangsung satu minggu, dan hasilnya pun tetap sama. Akhirnya, aku mendapatkan pekerjaan di salah satu rumah makan sebagai pencuci piring. Itu pun tidaklah lama, akhirnya aku dipecat dengan alasan yang aku sendiri tidak mengerti. Aku benar-benar jadi pengangguran.

Melihat aku tidak ada pekerjaan dan hanya berdiam diri di rumah, Tante Roih sering ngomel-ngomel bahwa dia tak mampu lagi mambiayai aku termasuk biaya makan kalau aku terusan-terusan menganggur seperti ini. Pada suatu malam, aku diajak oleh Tante Roih ke sebuah diskotik. Aku didandani secantik mungkin, diberi pakaian bagus dan itu agak terbuka menampakkan lengan dan betisku. Aku dipaksa melepas kerudung. Inilah pertama kalinya aku melepas kerudung ketika keluar rumah. Sebelum benar-benar masuk ke dalam diskotik, aku memperhatikan tubuhku pada sebuah cermin seperti yang juga dilakukan oleh Tante Roih. Aku baru sadar ternyata aku mempunyai wajah yang sangat cantik dan tubuh yang montok. Lama aku perhatikan bagian dadaku, pakaian yang aku kenakan saat ini berhasil membuat buah dadaku semakin menonjol dan itu benar-benar membuat aku merasa risih. Aku duduk seorang diri di sebuah bangku yang berada di pojokan ruangan tersebut, aku menjauh dari keramaian. Dari tempat aku duduk, aku memperhatikan orang-orang dalam diskotik, dan aku juga bisa melihat Tante Roih dengan jelas. Aku melihat seorang pria mendekati Tante Roih, pria itu berpakaian sangat rapi menggunakan jas lengkap dengan dasi dan sepatu mengkilatnya. Dia berusaha menyentuh pipi Tante Roih, namun Tante Roih selalu manangkisnya. Pria itu mengeluarkan sejumlah uang dari sakunya, dan diulurkan pada Tante Roih. Tante Roih menggelengkan kepalanya, Pria itu mengeluarkan lagi sejumlah uang dari sakunya, dan mengulurkannya pada Tante Roih. Namun Tante Roih tetap menggelengkan kepalanya. Untuk ketiga kalinya, Pria berdasi itu mengeluarkan lagi uang dari sakunya, sekarang dalam jumlah yang banyak, dan mengulurkannya pada Tante Roih. Tante Roih membalas dengan senyuman genit, ia membuang rokok yang ia hisap. Tante Roih dan Pria tadi menghilang dari keramaian.

Aku berlari menuju rumah, airmataku jatuh tak tertahankan. Semakin jauh aku meninggalkan tempat biadab itu, semakin airmataku jatuh berderai. Aku memasuki kamar, aku lempar tubuhku yang terasa lunglai ke atas kasur, aku menangis sejadi-jadinya. Aku berusaha bangkit dari kasur, berjalan menuju kamar mandi, aku ambil wudhu dan melaksanakan sholat isya’. Seketika pikiranku tertuju pada orangtua dan adik-adiku. Airmataku semakin berjatuhan.

Besok harinya di meja makan, Tante Roih menceramahiku dengan retorika yang mampu mengacak-ngacak keimananku. Sambil mengisap sebatang rokok, begini dia berucap; “Kau jangan pernah merasa sok suci daripada aku, karna selama ini kau wanita yang berkerudung, taat melaksanakan sholat lima waktu, hidup ditengah-tengah masyarakat yang baik-baik. Sementara, aku ini seorang pelacur seperti yang telah kau lihat. Aku memenuhi segala macam kebutuhan hidupku, makan, perawatan, beli ini beli itu dari uang hasil lacurku. Ya, begitulah caraku bertahan untuk tetap hidup. Ini Jakarta, hidup serba keras. Yang baik bisa menjadi semakin baik, dan yang buruk bisa menjadi semakin buruk. Bahkan, yang baikpun bisa menjadi buruk disini, begitupun sebaliknya. Ketika telah terjadi penindasan terhadap hak, maka orang-orangpun akan menghalalkan segala cara demi sesuap nasi. Jika kau terlalu lemah untuk menghadapi segala dinamika permainan ibu kota, maka kau akan mati tanpa harga diri. Ya, lagi-lagi aku mengatakan, inilah caraku untuk tetap bertahan hidup. Setidaknya aku selalu menjunjung tinggi harga diriku, semakin aku menggelengkan kepala maka semakin tinggi hargaku, semakin banyak jumlah uang yang bakal aku dapatkan. Semakin kita perempuan menggelengkan kepala menolak nafsu bejat pria, maka apapun akan dia keluarkan demi sebuah anggukan dari wanita. Ya, begitulah kelakuan pria yang haus seks. Harga seorang wanita terletak pada seberapa montok susu yang ia miliki. Begitulah wanita di mata pria bajingan. Selagi tubuhku masih ramping aku akan selalu diminati oleh tuan-tuan goblok itu. Selama susuku tidak merosot aku akan selalu jadi incaran mata-mata pria yang haus seks. Tubuhku adalah milikku, tubuhku adalah sesuatu yang paling berharga yang aku punya. Maka takkan pernah aku biarkan siapapun menyentuhnya tanpa harga yang setimpal. Kau tak perlu syok Juleha, karna bagaimanapun aku adalah aku, aku merasa lebih terhormat, lebih punya harga diri dibanding wanita-wanita yang dengan murahnya mengikhlaskan tubuhnya untuk disentuh pria. Lebih miris lagi, aku melihat wanita yang rela susunya, rambutnya, pinggangnya, pahanya bahkan kehormatannya dinikmati oleh pria secara gratis. Bahkan ia legowo saja ketika diminta oleh pria untuk bermalam di ruang sempit berukuran tidak lebih dari 5 X 5 meter tanpa bayaran, hanya mendapatkan rayuan-rayuan manja. Inilah model pacaran zaman sekarang Leha, Sampah!bajingan!menjijikkan!. Sekarang kau bisa pikirkan dan simpulkan sendiri, jangan pernah merasa sok suci dibalik kerudung yang kau gunakan, jangan pernah sekali-sekali kau berlindung dibalik nama agama. Perlu kau ingat, bahwa pelacur takkan pernah mau disentuh tanpa bayaran!”.

Tidak ada yang salah dari ucapan Tante Roih pikirku. Harga seorang wanita terletak pada seberapa montok susunya, sebarapa ramping tubuhnya. Begitulah menurut mata pria bajingan yang haus dan gila seks. Seorang wanita pelacur lebih terhormat dibanding wanita murahan yang berlindung dibalik kata-kata cinta.

Kini, aku mempunyai sebuah rumah di dearah Jakarta, aku tidak lagi menumpang di rumah Tante Roih. Tiap bulan aku selalu berkirim uang kepada ibu dan bapak. Adikku yang paling tua tengah melanjutkan studi magister di salah satu universitas di Malaysia dan adikku yang bontot tengah menjalankan studi sarjana di salah satu perguruan tinggi impiannya. Sementara bapakku tidak lagi makan dari hasil upah mencangkul sawah atau kebun milik warga. Begitupun dengan ibuku, tidak lagi keliling berjualan sayur atau buah-buahan. Gubuk reotku telah berganti jadi istana, dan aku bisa memastikan bahwa orangtuaku bahagia menikmati hari tuanya, walaupun aku tak berada di sampingnya dan mereka pun tak pernah tau bagaimana cara aku mendapatkan uang. Aku merasa sangat puas ketika hal yang aku impikan terwujud. Begitulah kira-kira, semua diukur dengan uang!.

Awalnya, tiga hari setelah Tante Roih menceramahiku, setiap tengah malam, aku berdiri di pinggir jalan, tubuhku sudah aku olah semenarik mungkin, aku poles wajahku dengan make up secantik mungkin. Bakat ini tentu aku peroleh dari Tante Roih. Aku mengenakan pakaian semi terbuka yang memperlihatkan dengkul dan belahan dadaku. Rambutku juga aku oleh semenarik mungkin. Tidak lupa juga tubuhku aku semprotkan minyak wangi. Awalnya aku tidak mau menetapkan tarif terhadap pelangganku, aku hanya memandang siapa pelanggan yang akan layani. Jika aku suka pada pria yang menawarku, maka ia akan aku layani. Jika aku tidak suka, maka ia akan aku tolak dengan alasan telah ada yang menawarku dan aku tengah menunggunya. Pria yang aku tolak akan pergi dengan mata melotot seakan-akan keluar dari sarangnya. Begitulah seterusnya kehidupan yang aku jalani di Ibu kota. Semakin malam, semakin tinggi bayaranku. Semakain terbuka pakaianku, semakin mahal hargaku, semakin montok susuku, semakin banyak pria yang tertarik padaku. Ya, karna memang harga seorang wanita terletak pada kemontokan susunya, begitulah kesimpulan mata laki-laki yang gila seks. maka aku selalu merawat dan memelihara tubuhku, hargaku tidak boleh turun sebab tubuhku tidak terawat. Ketika aku sadar telah banyak pria yang menginginkan tubuhku, aku mengambil keputusan bahwa aku harus menetapkan harga dari tubuhku. Kini, aku tidak lagi mangkal di tepi jalanan setiap tengah malam, karna memang sekarang pria yang aku layani adalah pejabat-pejabat, saudagar-saudagar dan orang-orang berduit lainnya. Semakin aku menggelengkan kepala, semakin banyak uang yang aku peroleh. Aku akan menetapkan harga dari tubuhku setinggi mungkin, sampai tak seorangpun yang mampu menawar dan mambayarnya. Itulah impianku, impian seorang pelacur yang punya harga diri.

Tidak ada yang salah dari pekerjaanku, begitulah kesimpulan yang aku dapatkan dari hasil introspeksi diri. Ketika aku menilai pekerjaanku suatu kesalahan, sisi lain dari hatiku mengatakan tidak ada yang salah dari pekerjaanku. Karna memang, hidup di negeri yang dikuasai oleh kapital tidaklah mudah, yang kaya semakin kaya, yang miskin semakin miskin, ketertindasan hak terjadi dimana-mana. Yang berpangkat semakin diagung-agungkan, sementara yang mencangkul sawah dienyahkan. Yang berdasi akan lebih terhormat dibanding yang menjadi guru. Ijazah sarjana tidak lagi berguna, apalagi ijazah SLTA. Yang lebih diutamakan adalah yang berduit dan berpangkat. Semua diukur dengan uang!.

Ya, tidak ada yang salah dengan pekerjaanku. Ketika aku dipandang rendah oleh masyarakat karna aku berasal dari keluarga tak berduit, maka bagaimanapun caranya aku harus memperoleh kekayaan agar mendapatkan pengakuan dan kehormatan di tengah-tengah masyarakat. Lagi-lagi aku mengatakan, bahwa tidak ada yang salah dengan pekerjaanku. Ketika negeriku tidak lagi memberikan jaminan hak kerja terhadap diriku sebagai warga negara, ketika negeriku memfasilitasi tempat kerja bagi warga negara asing, sementara aku, sebagai warga negara, kesulitan mendapatkan kesempatan kerja secara layak. Maka aku akan melakukan cara apapun agar aku mampu mempertahankan harga diriku dan marbatku. Jika dengan pendidikan aku tidak memporelah kesempatan untuk melindungi harga diri dan terhormat, maka menjadi pelacur adalah pilihanku untuk tetap mempertahankan harga diri, karna takkan pernah aku biarkan siapapun menyentuh tubuhku sebelum ia mampu membayar tarif yang aku minta. Ya, inilah negeriku, negeri dimana pelacur lebih bernilai tinggi.

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